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Srce mi je puno

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Nasad mom cercu ce ici

Baš kao što bi trebao

English

My heart is full

Of your heart that is pulled

In the wrong direction

But right back to my heart it’ll go

Just like it should

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Sunken Face (12-23-12)

They say

Young evil is glamorous

But I hear now how he pays

This young man’s screams continuous

Kills him swift on days of his past ways

What they say muted by his liquid poisons

His terror fills my ears

Doubles my compassions, rips my ears in half

Dark, oh, sunken face shows his covered purple veins

Numbed unrealized pain 1000 times his past

Is smashed into his painful existence

As the poisonous fruit tries to kill

And resin rebuilds its existence

Inside this frail being

Who is utterly ill, collapse

For we both know he must fight, relapse

He, we must struggle against all demons’ rebuttles

This is life, these are lies

If he, if we are to ever

Live again, or ever live at all

Without a sunken face

And find our peace

Red Demise

Trying not to look back

Is hard when you see shadows of black

That make your heart crack

And ache that familiar lack

And the timeless tears stuck in your eyes

Sparkle the colors of your red demise

World full of Hate

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I’ve got a box full of pills

And a world full of hate

A man that smiles while I cry

No energy left unless it’s to seal my fate

Living life can be brutal

Disconnection can be fatal

Feeling chemically positive

Makes your decisions turn out negative

The only winning in the lie

Is losing your soul for the high

I never wanted anyway

But they kept saying it’d make my demons go away

But nothing changed

Cuz I was my own demon anyway

My life, my brain, my situation

Not knowing how to live

An alien in a foreign land

Trying to breathe with no will

And see through the sand

Living in a house of flies

They wait til I can’t wait any longer

And the songs just aren’t enough anymore

To keep me digging in my box full of pills

To deal with a world full of hate

And a heart that no longer reciprocates

Emotionless except for the pain of bee stings

And a deep venom in my veins

That has changed the meaning of my own name

blanket of moths

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you ever not believe in a god

but be prayin for death every night

like a blanket of moths

eatin you alive

the words and views of you from others

covers your body on a hot bed of embers

til you’re nothin but cracked bones

and somethin not much of to be remembered

since, anyhow, they will remember you wrong

and forget the way you wrote the words to your song

when you’re forever gone

Settle

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The truth is the mundane sets in

Crawls underneath my skin

I realize there is only one existence of I

Most likely healthy but boredom deadly in my eye

For I desire an existence of passion of we

Wish for time before the hope died of being more than just me

Of you and I in togetherness of awe

Connection of embrace in all places we saw

Instead, no matter how good a man

It is just I and I for the long stretch then

I want romance and passions bursts

To be emotionally charged by reactions firsts

Then waves of connection and a love I can understand

By communication that says we

But all I ever see is I and all I ever hear is me

One mundane day after another

Just watching each other get older

And while I know I should be grateful

But honestly I only feel full of sorrow

For I feel nothing but I

When all I wanted was a passion of we high

Illogically and only seen in the movies I suppose

Yet I sigh as I feel I squander my dreamer side for what I’ve been told

To believe as a robot

Conditioned to go step by step and forget

Anything of what is inside of me

And the possibility of a passionate we

But when I quiet my tears

All I hear is

The soft whispers “settle,

It’ll be better”

Unconditional Bucket of Love

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I have no understanding for where this love comes from

Do you have an unconditional bucket of love which you grab from

I slip sideways in suddenly to my head

And your obtrusive hand reaches in and pulls me out of my familiar dread

I rip out my hair

And you tape it back there

Just grab me all around my internal fight tight

Hold me, shaking, until I am finally right

My wet and dry tears flow

To wash away the choking chaos that silently kills who you hold

As you try to use any human words to possibly understand

What has been broken within me by humans

And I cling to you

As away I push you

What do I have to offer back to someone like you

Someone with a bucket unlike any other and I want one too

So I can show you the love you show me

But I fear all I have are words of poetry

Singing to you in the dark

Leaving more good than evil marks

And you hear the voice I sing to you

Singing la la la la loving you

Forever infinity times my mad soul extreme

Only your voice cuts through to me

And quiets my soul

Fills the empitness of my soul

So again I sing I la la la la love you truly and free

Forever infinity times my mad soul extreme

So again I sing I la la la la love you truly and free

Forever infinity times my mad soul extreme

I love how you love me

How you cradle my madness, happy me

So again I sing I la la la la love you truly and free

Forever infinity times my mad soul extreme